American Idol Recap: Back in a New York Groove
It's the season premiere of American Idol. Where better to start than New York.
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Talent Impediments
Hey Gasmii! My name is Dashley, and I am a recovering Idol-holic. I used to watch this show religiously, forsaking a personal life in order to be a part of the revolutionary idea of choosing who the...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: You Make A Grown Man Cry
Don't sing Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars can barely sing Bruno Mars.
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: The Top Snorety
Otherwise known as, “Our last ditch effort to become relevant.” Howdy Gasm guys and gal! Plockness monster here and I am ready to pitch in and contribute my part in recapping this train wreck known as...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Minicap: Sudden Death in Vegas parts 1 and 2
It’s sudden death…but not the kind that happens to up-and-coming rappers on the Strip. Drive-by shooting leads to 6-vehicle collision; 3 dead It’s been a busy week in Vegas, Gasmii! Not only was there...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Stuck on the 405
She’s late, she’s late, for a very important show nobody watches anymore. Our Top 10 has had a week off to play with their snap bracelets or listen to rap music or do whatever it is teenagers do in...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Jimmy Knows Best
No urban hangers!!!!! Ryan kicks off the show, accompanied by ear-splitting decibels of teen shrieks. I feel like I’m at a Michael Jackson concert in Belarus in 1989. Except it’s really a Bon Jovi...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: A Hard Day’s Night
Don’t cry. There are other too-hot-and-young-for-you fish in the sea. Sad single Ryan puts on a brave face and shows up for work. Must be hough. Er, I mean, tough. But before we get to see our Top 9,...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Not Feeling So Jolley
A stutter and some tears = reality show Kryptonite. As challenging as it is to take an elderly gentleman dressed like the football team captain in a porno seriously, I appreciate Jimmy Iovine’s...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Where There’s Smokey, There’s Fire
Sugar Pie Honey Pile of Steaming Crap Cake. Great news – it’s Detroit Night! Coneys and urban prairie for everybody! Smokey Robinson is in the building, looking younger and fresher than Mariah Carey on...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Starbucks, Here I Come
The show opens with the contestants standing in two straight lines as Ryan goes into some bunk about how the contestants all “come from different backgrounds.” Yeah, they come from all different...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Gonna Make You Sweat
”Wonder if Cee Lo makes more than I do?” It’s been a long hard week of excluding Lazaro from group activities save for the occasional cruel practical joke where he’s the target (you know you’d do...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Jesus, Take The Wheel
As you can see from the photo above, the dress code the producers issued to the judges was “Evening Gowns or Ratty T-Shirts from Urban Outfitters.” Nicki, always the rebel, refused to comply. I hope...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: You’re Not Dumb and You’re Not Blonde
Welcome back, loyal viewer! The show starts with a pre-recorded video of the Top 5 talkin’ ’bout issues and how crazy-cool-medallions it is that they made it to the top five. A few of them sneak in...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap:
Another week, another jaunt to the children’s hospital. When this show isn’t cringe-worthy or mind-numbingly boring, it’s downright depressing. The one bright spot is Amber’s new curly ‘do. I’m...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: These Girls Are On Fire
The one redeeming quality of this show is that I get to see someone’s heart shatter into a million pieces on live television when they learn that the most they have to look forward to is a...
View ArticleAmerican Idol Recap: Something’s Cookin’
We return for the results show after an episode that made everyone question their worldview: Is Randy Jackson not the prolific wizard of vast musical knowledge that we’ve always thought? Could a guest...
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